Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Dear Great Grandson of Dr Laboomba..

(Of late I have been receiving incessant emails from 'children' and 'widows' of former presidents of some countries in other geographies, who require my business advice, acumen and assistance in salvaging the treasure which the late dictator bequeathed upon them..My response to them, once and for all , is below)

Dear Great Grandson of Dr Laboomba,

I am in receipt of your email dated 6th October containing the urgent and confidential business proposal worth a sum of dollars 10,00,000. I am also in receipt of a kind email from your great grand mother indicating the importance of the international business proposal that you wish to pursue with my humble self. However, I am not exactly sure if the said wife of the late Dr Laboomba is your exact great grandmother. After all, your great grandfather, the late Dr Laboomba was a rather prolific specimen of mankind, and traces of his combination of x-y chromosomes is found in the genome structure of children who came from twenty-three mothers, which includes a mother daughter combination. As you can see, I am in deep understanding of the filial wires of the great clan of late Dr Laboomba, who was the former president of the Peoples' Republic of Laboombapala.

My assistant just brought me the history of Laboombapala, wherein, I gather that the late Dr Laboomba, in each of his twenty three years in presidency, had instituted the presidential tradition of the a marriage, wherein he gave his folks a fitting party at the expense of the state exchequer. The gifts brought in by the guests were not mandatory, and the red handkerchief given to each on of them with the state seal was the identifier that the responsible citizen has contributed befittingly to the presidential cause, and hence could be invited to the next year's marriage party. Those who did not the red handkerchief where identified at the exit gate and sent for Honululu, which I understand is an innovative way of guest disposal in the tribe of Lingapala, to which the great late Dr Laboombapala belonged.

Therefore I understand that the Governor of the State Bank of Laboomba, who upon Honululu-ed, took with him the details of the treasure that your great grandfather entrusted upon him, which as per your kind email is saved in the safe custody of Swiss vaults. I am also of further understanding of your business proposal, which calls for a half-half division of the Great Treasure, which I further understand from your email, only I can facilitate. My assistant, who is a graduate of international history, also reminds me that the night of his 23rd marriage, your great grandfather suffered a mysterious medical affliction, to which he could never recover, and lived for exactly eighteen more days and no more.

The new ruler of Laboomba, the son of the third wife of the husband of your great grandmother, Laboombapalapala, I am able to appreciate from your email, is not business savvy of international stature such as yourself, and believes that the holy spirit of Lingapala would ensure that he would better the record of his father, the great Dr Lingapala by achieving atleast 40 marriages.

I understand you want to wire transfer the amount to my personal account through your contacts in Swiss Banking industry, after which I shall get my share of 5 MN and the remaining 5 MN shall be rightfully taken by your kind self. I am quite in agreement with this idea, which to me is not unacceptable, though the sum, though it may appear quite liberal, does not appeal to me quite much, given that currency specified is Lingapala dollar, which is trading 934 to 1 with respect to the Japanese Yen.

Further, as in a matter of disclosure in matters of business pursued with trusted friends such as your esteemed self, I am in also in receipt of a email of business proposal from the son-in-law of the dictator of your neighbourhood republic of Lapasa, who upon defection to a third country, needs similar help in arrangements to ensure the transfer of his treasure through some trusted friend like me. Only that the amount in this case is USD 100,000 which translates to a cool amount of Rs 4,00,000 at today's conversion rates, unlike your case, which at today's conversion rates, translates to a grand sum of Rs 176, which will allow me to pay the cable TV bill for my house for exactly one month.

It is for this reason that I respectfully decline your business proposal. Hail the spirit of late Dr Laboombapala!

Sincerely

RK
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1 comment:

ReviewSaurus said...

he he he h! that's a nice one! You've got the humor nerve mate... :)